


When the cats are away the mice come out to play

by Enide_Dear



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Blue Balls, Dom/Dom, Food Porn, Humor, M/M, Sub/Sub
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-09
Updated: 2017-02-09
Packaged: 2018-09-23 02:53:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9637763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enide_Dear/pseuds/Enide_Dear
Summary: Ignis and Prompto are getting fed up with Noctis and Gladiolous lack of appreciation and general macho behaviour and decides to take matters into their own hands. No explicit sex (although some going on in the background) mostly humor.





	

”Stop them! Iggy, you have to stop them before they kill one another!” Prompto came skidding into camp, fell over by Ignis’ cooking stand but scrambed to his feet, jumping up and down in a remarkable imitation of an agitated chocobo.  
   
Ignis cast one glance in the direction the young man was pointing and then returned to his meal preperations.   
   
“No need to get so upset. It is just the ordinary alpha male display.” He gently cracked an egg. In the other end of camp, Noctis and Gladiolous were shouting at one another at the top of their lounges, shoving and pushing.  
   
“Sweet Shiva, now they have their weapons out – what?” Prompto whipped his head around so fast he was in serious risk of a whiplash. “Alpha male?”  
   
“Yes.” Ingis stirred the eggs carefully. “The alpha males fight for dominance of the harem. Us, that is.”   
   
“Harem?!” Prompto’s jaw dropped. He didn’t even turn to look when the loud *clong* announced a warp strike being interrupted by an Absorb shield and the subsequent swearing. “Are you saying …they see us as….some kind of, I don’t know, concubines?!”  
   
“I am afraid so. Free to fight over.” The omelet was getting nicely golden brown and Ignis added mushrooms and peppers, waiting patiently while Prompto processed that information. The prince and the shield were now in full swing at one another, brawling insults all the way. "And the winner will take his pick for the night."  
   
“Wow. That is so insulting. I mean, a bit flattering. But still so insulting.” Prompto’s eyes narrowed and his lower lips shot out, rather adorably for all that he was obviously cranky, glaring at the two combatants still whacking at each other like two bucks in spring.  
   
“Indeed.” Picking up a tender morsel, Ignis held it out and Prompto took it carefully with his teeth.   
   
“Ish good. Maybe a bit more pepper?” He said absentminded, still glaring daggers at the fighters.   
   
Ignis nodded at the compliment and added some more spice. Prompto greedily licked his fingers this time.   
   
“Fortunately, we are not herd animals and quite capable of handling ourselves without the so called leaders of the pack, hm?” Ignis pushed his glasses half an inch further up.  
   
“Sure are! None of those guys are getting *any* tonight!” Prompto said with a dead determination that was somewhat contradicted by the tightness of hs pants as he watched the crown prince of Lucis and his Shield get all worked up and sweaty. Still it seemed the young mans pride was stronger than his horniness. 

"We are of the same mind then. Still," Ignis picked up another tasty bit and this time let his finger linger a bit longer in Promptos mouth until the gunner turned towards him. In the light of the grill, Ignis smile was wicked. "Still, that doesn't mean the two of us should be missing out, does it?"

Prompto's eyes grew big and then he smiled as he bit down gently on Ignis finger. 

 

"What the Hell is all this now?!" Gladio roared when he and Noctis finally returned to the camp proper. Ignis was sitting in a camp chair with Prompto draped over his knees, both their shirts were open and there was a lot of finger feeding, finger licking, food nibbling, kissing, groping and general making out going on.

"It's rude to stare," Ignis waved him of once he'd retrieved his mouth and hands from Prompto's ministrations. 

"Yeah, yeah, go away, who needs you guys anyway?" Prompto giggled as Ignis teased a strawberry dipped in whipped cream around his nipple and then proceeded to lick off the cream. "Damn, Ignis is good!"

"You are not too bad yourself," Ignis watched with fasination as Prompto took the simple act of eating a strawberry into new and perverted hights. 

Gladio bristled, but Noctis just waved at them.

"I don't mind a show. Is there any food ready?" He peered at the plates.

"Help yourself," was probably was the strangled moan coming from Ignis mouth as Prompto started licking at his ear was supposed to mean. 

"Hey, this is all cold!" the crown prince of Lucis stared at his dinner with the same level of betrayal as his shield stared at the many armed octopus that Ignis and Prompto had melted into, but with a lot less desire. "And bits of it is burned! And the other parts are...vegetables!"

"So sorry, it seemed all the best picks were taken while you two were busy." With some difficulties, the two blondes came to their feet, a feat not aided by Promptos hand down the back of Ignis pants nor the fact that Ignis lips seemed permantetly glued on Prompto's freckled neck. "Don't forget to do the dishes once you're done eating."

"Hey, what about us?!" Gladio shouted with growing desperation as they started to stumble their way to the tent. 

"What about you?" Prompto asked back with a shrug as he opened the tent flap and playfully pushed Ignis inside.

"Wait, are you guys serious?!" Noctis looked up from his depressed dinner plate in time to realize he was missing out on something tastier.

The tent was closed with a very serious and final zzzzziiiiiiiiipppp.

"They can't be serious. Right?" Noctis turned with some desperation to Gladio who was looking morosely at the tent.

"I think they are. Did you see their hair? None of them lets their hair get that muzzy if they're not serious." Gladio hung his arms defeated.

"Yeah, but..."

"Butts are probably it, yeah."

Flopping down in a chair, Noctis glared at his Shield and tried to pick the edible parts out of his dinner. 

"This is all your fault, you know."

"My fault?! If his royal highness wasn't such a pain in the ass...."

"It's a pain in the ass I am currently not being, thanks to you!"

"...and we both hadn't acted like assholes, we wouldn't have been in this situation! Damn it, are we out of cup noodels to?!" Too hungry to be picky any more, Gladio ladeled up a plate of his own. From the tent behind them came giggles, mixed in with soft squishy sounds that grated on both men's nerves.

"You mean they are doing this to punish us?"

"It's working to, aint it?" Gladio stabbed his dinner as if it was a Behemot in need of killing and not cold burned pieces of egg. "I mean listen to them."

"Don't wanna." Noctis muttered, glaring under his bangs.

"They're getting really serious in there. Not just a wham, bam, thank you.....man. They're taking it slow and sensously. Taking their time."

"Yeah." A crispy scent waffted from the tent and made Noctis close his eyes. "Damn it, smells like Ignis took out his massage oils. Which means...."

"Which means that he is giving Prompto one of his erotic massages," Gladi ogoraned, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. "And it sounds like Prompto is really liking it to, fucking hell!"

A new, sudden sound from the tent made them both whipp their heads around. They had only heard Ignis make that sound once or twice in their life. 

"Ah man, ah man, ah man...."Noctis groaned, putting down his platter to better push his hands on his groin. "I bet Prompto is doing that thing with his tongue where he likes swirled it and he has his hands on your...."

"Not helping Noct!" Gladio growled and visibly pulled himself together. "At least its dark, right? We don't have to see anything."

As if on cue, a light was turned on inside the tent turning it into a pornographic shadow puppet display, too blurry to make out the finer details but far too distinct to pretend it was something it wasn't. 

Both men stared, unable to tear their eyes away. 

"Right," Noctis said after a long while. "Ignis likes to see."

"And Prompto likes to scream," Gladio put his hands over his ears as the unmistakable sounds began to fill the air. "Damn it, do you think we can just....sneak in there?!"

"Not unless you want a faceful of lead and steal, no." Noctis was still staring at the tent. "Oh sweet Shiva, they are taking turns now...."

"This sucks!" Unable to sit still any more, Gladio kicked his plate away and started pacing. "I really needed to get laid tonight!"

"Look, we can still solve this!" Noctis clutched his head to try to keep out the moans. "I'll suck your dick if you suck mine, alright?!"

Gladio stared at him.

"Is that your best pick up line?!"

"What, you want me to send you flowers and complement your ass?!" the crown prince of Lucis was starting to loose whatever calm he had left. 

Gladio crossed his arms in something similar to a pout. 

"Prompto always says my ass is photogenetic."

"Oh yeah? Well, he didn't have you posing for sultry photos in the morning light, did he?!" Noctis got out of his chair to. "And anyway, Ignis does my favorite dish far more often than he does yours!"

"And when was the last time you thanked him for that, huh?!" Gladio shouted back at his face. "You just take them both for granted don't you?!"

"And you don't?!" With an extreme power of will, Noctis pulled himself togehter. "Look, I'm sorry. We've both acted like dicks enough that both Iggy and Prompto grew tired of us and are blue balling us...."

He got no further before Gladio grabbed his face and kissed him, hard enough that their teeth slammed together. Noctis took a firm grip on his Shield's  tanktop, trying to push him backwards onto the ground, but Gladio was having none of it. There wree a few moments of harsh handed gropping, kissing and shoving before they fell sideways onto the ground (which was hard, but none of them would ever dream of backing down enough to say that) to tear of each other clothes. 

What followed was partly fighting, partly fucking and altogether satisfactionally even though they both had bruises they would rather cut of their own hands than complain about. 

 

From inside the tent another very satisfied couple (with a lot less aches and bruises) listen to the sounds that might have easily been mistaken for two Behemots having a go at one another. 

"I believe this will give us some time to further explore our relationship," Ignis said, kissing up Prompto's spine. "And when we are good and ready to let them back with us, I think we can expect some more decent behaviour."

"Sounds nice," Prompto sighed, arching his back like a lazy cat. "'Cause you've kind of spoiled me rotten here, Iggy. I'll be expecting compliments and moonlight walks and serenades, not to mention that thing you do with your hands, from now on."

"No less than you deserve. No less than both of us deserve, really. Nice dinners at restaurants, gondola rides, your exquisite candy sweet ass...."

"Ignis!" Prompto squealed in half shock, half amusement. "Well, I suppose that is a nice compliment." He twisted under Ignis so he could look up at him, caressing down the firm chest. "But then I must say you are as hot as a Quillhorn Soup and as well-hung as a Smoked Behemot steak." A strange kind of quiver went over Ingis body and Prompto's eyebrows shot up. "You....liked that?"

"Um, yeah." Ignis leaned down to kiss him. "Talk food porn to me."


End file.
